Remember
a Forever Knight Story
by Jill Kirby

"Hi."

Jenny ignored Nick, keeping her face stubbornly turned away. Nick glanced over his shoulder at Myra, then climbed out the window and sat next to Jenny on the roof of the house.

It was one of those gorgeous, crisp fall nights where the stars seemed to be just a short reach away, but Jenny's eyes were unseeing. Her knees were tucked up under her chin, and her arms were wrapped tightly around her legs - as if making herself very small would make the pain pass her by, unnoticed.

They sat silent for a long time, Jenny staring out at the dark, and Nick watching Jenny. She'd always looked more like Myra to him, but tonight he saw her father everywhere in her face - in her eyes, in the set of her mouth, in the shape of her jaw.

She was growing up so quickly. Nick realized for the first time that Schanke would never see the beautiful woman his daughter was going to become - and that was the greatest wrong of all.

Finally, Jenny looked at him. Her enormous brown eyes were solemn, and filled with a sadness that Nick knew would be there for a long time. "You didn't come to the funeral."

"I couldn't. You know that."

"You should have been there." Jenny turned away again, her chin set stubbornly. "You were his <partner.> Partners go to funerals. There were lots of other people there."

"I know." Natalie had told him about it. Nearly every cop in Toronto, and many from the surrounding communities, had been there. With the bombings, the Toronto police force was spending too much time at funerals - but still they went, loyal to their own.

Nick put one hand on Jenny's shoulder. He half-expected her to shake it off, but she didn't move. "Jenny, if I could have been there, I would have. Your father was the best partner I'll ever have." He paused. "He was a good friend, too."

For one moment, he thought she was going to rest her cheek on his hand. Instead, she turned carefully to face him, balancing herself on the gently sloped roof. "Daddy worried about you, y'know? You never eat, and you
spend too much time by yourself." She grinned suddenly, and it lit up her face. "He talked about you a lot. He thought you needed to settle down."

"I probably do," answered Nick, smiling in response.

"Daddy used to tell Mom that you needed to find someone just like her to 'shape you up...' But he thought you were a good cop," she added hastily. "He said you were the one he wanted watching his back."

Nick winced, trying to ignore the quiet voice in the back of his mind telling him he should have been the one on that plane. If he had been, this little girl - not so little any more - would still have her father.

With a lightning-quick mood change, Jenny's face became pensive. "Nick, do you believe in God?"

"Yes." He studied her, so earnest. So sad. "Do you?"

"I guess." Jenny's tone was flippant, but her clenched hands belied the tone. "I don't understand, though. I go to church and I always pray for Daddy and Mom, and Nana - and you." She flushed. "So I figured you were all safe, since I pray really hard." A lock of hair fell over her forehead, and she pushed it back absently. "I just didn't pray hard enough, maybe."

She was blaming herself. Maybe it was easier than believing that a madman would put a bomb on a plane and kill a hundred people.

"Jen, you know whose fault this is. There are sick people - there are things that happen that don't make any sense. They never have, and they never will." He paused, clearing his throat. She couldn't know how he had
struggled with these same questions for 800 years. "God lets some terrible things happen, but he also gives us good things. Good people, like your dad."

For the first time, Jenny's eyes filled with tears. "That's kinda what Natalie said. She said we have to hold on to the good things we've gotten and remember them. For always, even if they go away."

"She's right."

"You know, some kids never even have a dad." Jenny's mouth was trembling, and Nick could tell she was trying hard to hold back the tears. "I was lucky... I had the best dad in the whole world." Her face crumpled, and
she put one hand up to her mouth as if it could stop the pain, stop the tears.

Instinctively, Nick put his arms around Jenny and held her tightly, wishing he could do more. Her little body shook as she sobbed, and he stroked her hair gently, fighting back his own tears. This wasn't his time to mourn. He was here for Jenny... for his partner's daughter. For his friend's daughter.

Eventually, sniffling, Jenny pulled away and wiped at her eyes with one ineffectual hand. Nick pulled a tissue out of his jacket pocket. "Here."

"Thanks." She blew her nose loudly, and managed a wobbly smile for Nick. "Sorry to act like such a baby."

"You aren't acting like a baby, Jenny. You're very brave."

"Yeah. Right." She crumpled the tissue in her hand and turned away, embarrassed, looking up at the night sky. Suddenly, Jenny gasped.

"Look!" A star shot across the sky, and she squeezed her eyes shut. When they opened, they were lighter; there was even a little sparkle in them. "Did you make a wish, Nick?"

He put one arm around her shoulders, and hugged her close. "Yes. I did."

"Well, you can't tell me what it was," said Jenny wisely. Suddenly, she looked far older than her years. "If you do, it won't come true."

He smiled down at her. Somehow, he thought this one would.

End

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